you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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