Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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