I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
