Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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