Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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