Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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