i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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