You're my little dorito
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
