Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
