I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
