There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
