"it" just moved
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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