I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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