mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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