why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
