why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
