The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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