So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
