peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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