Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
