I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize