I can't breathe out the right side of my face
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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