My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
