Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
