...so i touched it.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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