one might say we're banned from that church
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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