She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
