Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
