in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
