it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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