I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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