what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
