i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
