Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
