dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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