I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hippo gnu deer
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
