I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂