The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.