Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
