Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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