So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
