Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So vagazzling was a success
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
FUCK WHALES
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
