I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
