when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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