i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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