quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
