I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
