its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
soo... how was my night?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
