you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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