i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
