so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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