look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize