How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
