If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
