Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
