his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
how drunk are you?
Several
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
