oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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