I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
