Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
