I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
