You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
