Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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