dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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