I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
