Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
