just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
