Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
