Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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