seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
