I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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