Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize