Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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