i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think I am morally bankrupt
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
