You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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