Non-Jews are for practice
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
