Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
